Oh, come now….

UPDATE: the full list has just been released, and ten stores in my area are closing, including two I see on a weekly basis.  Huzzah!

If there’s anything good to be said about our economic woes of late, it’s this: Starbucks is closing a bunch of stores.  Ding-dong the witch (or mermaidy-thingy) is (somewhat) dead!  I don’t want to go into a whole big thing here, but I do want to mention how utterly ridiculous the media coverage has been.  Yes, okay, it’s another sign that our economy is in the dumps, but isn’t it going to help people in the long run?  I mean, who can afford to spend seven dollars (or whatever, I don’t go there, so I don’t know what things cost) on a g*dd*mn cup of coffee these days anyway?  So, more money in people’s pockets, and maybe an indy coffee shop opens in the space, and everyone can just chill the hell out.  Here’s what got me started on this.  From today’s Chicago Tribune, about the closing of a store in Country Club Hills:

“They just pulled the plug too soon,” [Russell] Morgan said as he satisfied his twice-a-day caffeine habit. “They didn’t give it enough time.”  To people who live in more fashionable ZIP codes, the loss of a Starbucks might not be viewed as a wound to civic pride. But in Country Club Hills, the opening of the ubiquitous chain in May 2007 signified a certain cachet.  ”It meant we had arrived,” Morgan said….[T]he nearest Starbucks purveyor is four miles away, in Homewood.

The story is accompanied by this photo of a dejected Morgan, apparently about to expire from the loss of his beloved Starbucks.  The man looks like he might actually keel over and die right now.  He may have, for all I know.  Come on, people, stiff upper lip! No time to mourn, we must reach Homewood before noonfall, or I fear we shall all meet a similar fate.  

As the Tribune story notes, despite its name, Country Club Hills and other south suburbs of Chicago have a hard time attracting businesses, and often feel left out of the region’s economic development.  Okay, fair enough, but why does Starbucks represent economic development?  Where have you “arrived” when a Starbucks opens in your community?  And why do you feel abandoned when Starbucks and its “cachet” disappear?  Can someone tell me just what the hell is so absolutely knock-me-down-and-call-me-Judy great about a freaking coffee shop?  I could understand if the argument was, “this is the only place in the community where people sit and interact with each other on a daily basis, it’s really a fixture in the daily social life of our area and we’re afraid of what will happen to the neighborhood if it goes.”  But no, that’s not the concern–it’s “cachet.”  Give me a break.  I need a cup of coffee.  Maybe I’ll go MAKE ONE MYSELF!

Anti-Starbucks logo from Amerikaos.